Score: 8

"I love this game like I'd love a woman"

submission: Murray's Missile Mayhem

date: August 27, 2009

Very carefully. Good job, you beautiful man.

Score: 9

"I actually love this game!"

submission: V-tech Rampage

date: May 16, 2009

Seriously! It's controversial enough that I get a laugh out of people who shit their pants over a video game which really has nothing to do with real life (seriously? You get after THIS thing instead of the brazillion other, far more gory, far more violent, far more offensive games WHICH ARE MORE POPULAR BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS? Pull the stick out of your collective asses and GET OVER IT), AND it's actually a cool little five-minute game.

Cool graphics, nice music (used to be, anyways), and I can just imagine the looks on the faces of a thousand overweight midwestern moms having hernias when they see this.

PS The RIAA can kiss my ass.

PPS To anyone still butthurt over the Virginia Tech Massacre- I am not, nor is this game, suggesting that the Virginia Tech Massacre was a good thing. It's quite the contrary, the Virginia Tech Massacre was a horrid, horrid event. This is a *video game*, NOT an endorsement of the massacre, NOT an endorsement of school shootings, JUST a fucking video game. Getting after this is like executing a student for doodling a picture of a stick-figure Hitler. Way to be censor-happy fucks. Hell, go bitch about Madness: Interactive. You want to know what THAT is about? Yeah, have fun being super-prudes.

Score: 0

"A New Low In Games"

submission: Homestar Hunt 2:alpha

date: April 28, 2009

Somehow you've actually made this game LESS fun than its predecessor, which you must've tried rather hard to do, as there wasn't much to build on anyways. I assume this was mainly a vent on Homestar Runner for some inconceivable wrong said cartoon character has done to you. A hint: Just because you birth a cow out of your butt when you see Homestar Runner doesn't mean anybody else cares.

Score: 0

"Shit Content, Bro"

submission: homestar hunt

date: April 28, 2009

So did you pull this out of your ass in five minutes? No challenge, lame selection, no fun. Won't get into shit about Homestar Runner, fan of him as I am, suffice to say this game just all-around sucks. Though from the looks of it you don't really care, which is fine by me.

Score: 10

"Orgasmic"

submission: Card Game!

date: April 9, 2009

This must have been the greatest game I have ever played. Anyone who says otherwise is obviously handicapped in a number of ways.

Score: 10

"An introspective, Walden-ish cinematic masterpiece"

submission: DUCK SIM 2008

date: February 4, 2009

This game does not deserve ten stars. It deserves eleven, nay, dare I say twelve?

But seriously, this game was incredible. Loved the graphics work, everything was absolutely stunning, my only problem was that the frame rate sucked sometimes during some of the more intricate cutscenes. It was worth it, though. A note to slower computers: Set the quality to "low," or else you'll have a hell of a time getting through the game. Mine's got an awesome graphics card, and even it was slow. IT IS LOAD-INTENSIVE.

Gameplay was console-quality, I suggest using a Wii since there are some tricky maneuvers that might require some unorthodox controls, though this game could be good on just about anything.

Music was great, I've heard better, but then again, it's a video game. I was expecting a lot less, but it was a surprising treat to hear some decent audio in the game. Once again, for a game like this, great quality.

The storyline was beautifully thought out, and I love how the cutscenes had great pacing and some cool action sequences, but it still had me doing the work during interesting parts.

Controls are intuitive to the point of primal. Anyone who has ever played a video game in their entire lives will understand how this works.

Replay value on this thing is incredible. I love how customizable everything is, it's better than Dwarf Fortress or Spore, and considering how the gameplay syncs up to all of my customizations, this is actually a major step in customizable gaming. You definitely have my support here, keep up the good work! Endlessly replayable, seriously.

Overall, I really would like to see this turn into a console game. Hey, we did it with Alien Hominid, and that's not half as good as this game. Perhaps you can "test the waters," as you put it, by putting the sequels on home consoles, it would be a dream come true. I'm not going to claim that this is the best game I've ever played, but a simple tweak of platform and perhaps some work on making the frame rates not so horrible, and this will definitely be vying for first place on my gaming list.

11/10!

Score: 8

"Wonderful idea, great execution"

submission: Sing you Sinners

date: November 3, 2008

I give it an 8/10 only because you could've done quite a bit more with this, and I'd like to see this expanded to something a bit longer. Other than that, I'm a big fan of this. Firstly, early-20th-century music used with flash usually ends up being awesome, liked the black-and-white and overall cartoony feel of it, and of course it wasn't so freaking serious about Halloween. Better than the usual gang of boring, unscary halloween characters. I liked the self-aware quality of it.

Bottom line is, please expand!

Score: 7

"Flame On!"

submission: Billy Suicide

date: September 5, 2008

I love how Farah does nothing as Billy lights himself on fire. Anyways, nice game. Challenging enough but rewarding in the end.

Score: 6

"Significantly less fun than the original"

submission: Pico's School remake

date: September 3, 2008

A noble effort, but I found myself questioning more and more whether I should keep playing a game based almost completely around the idea that good graphics = good game. Controls were inexcusably bad, and I do mean BAD. The interface system leaves much to be desired, and boss battles take for-fucking-ever.

That said, I think it's a great try. I mean, you kept quite well to the original aside from humorous parts. See about another remake next year.

Score: 4

"Level-ups too far apart, enemies far too easy"

submission: Bloody Blades

date: September 3, 2008

Simplistic games are by their very nature boring to play after extended periods of time, which is fine considering their purpose- To entertain for a little while. Usually in that little while it's very fun, comparable to a game which is meant to be drawn-out, which is better in long sittings. This, however, falls into the category of boring no matter how long you play it. I was bored within the first minute. Unbelievably easy, but pulled off in such a way as to be almost insultingly repetitive. Please work on your game material next time.